Dear teen me,
First off, I hate you.
I HATE you.
You are despicable and you are vile. I wish you nothing but the anguish of nightmares and sad, sleepless nights. I hate you for what you've done, and I hate you for all the reasons why you've done it. I hate you for being so stupid as to thinking that building a wall would keep out the sadness. Because guess what? It didn't.
I hate you.
I hate YOU who crushed my dreams, and turned my skies from blue to gray. It was you who convinced me that daydreams were just a sad, pathetic excuse to escape reality, and ever since then, I've felt as if I were deaf in a hearing world.
You are despicable even in the eyes of the lowest.
I hate you!
I hope you've lived your life in complete and utter anguish . . . and then we'd be even! Because you've made my life a living hell. You are selfish and you steal! You do it because you are only concerned about yourself. You have been puffed up with so much vanity and self-admiration that, when you look in the mirror, you can no longer even see yourself. I despise you and your complete lack of refinement and elegance.
I HATE YOU
I hate you because you lied . . . you're a LIAR! You are a sick, twisted, perpetual liar!! You cheat, and you have let people steal from you what they please! You hated life and made it the world's business . . . and you let people pity you for it!
I hate you and your misanthropic tendencies! You, who carries your nose as high as a giraffe and laughs at the pain and misery of others! I look down upon people like you who suffer from perpetual aloofness.
I hate you because you speak too loud! And because of it you drown out the voices of those trying to help you. And when you do hear it, you are too stubborn . . . and the lesson rolls off you like rain on a roof.
I H A T E Y O U ! ! !
And do you want to know WHY I hate you?
I hate you because you tried to build a wall that blocked out sadness, when it only blocked out happiness. I hate you because the world called us rude . . . when only we were sad. I hate you because we tried to love life, only we failed, and it was too painful to try to hide it. Because we grew up having nothing . . . and stole because we were scared it was going to happen again.
I hate you because you let your heart get stolen too easily, and it shattered because of our carelessness. I hate you because we cheated death and our parent's couldn't. I hate you because sorrow is so easy to feel, yet so hard to tell. I hate you because, at a young age, we were already as disenchanted with the world as a man of eighty.
But, most of all, I hate you because you lied to me . . . by saying it would be easier to hold on rather than simply. letting. go. But I'm still here.
And I will never, ever forgive myself.